Both scenes where shot in Romania.
Monthly installments.
It's 3am, and the man is driving his brand new BMW M3 CSL down the N1 at 240km/h. He's two minutes away from home when he sees a car on the side of the road, on its roof, and flames all around.
There's no one else in the area, his cell phone reception is dead, so he stops his car. Sure enough, there's a beautiful woman in the car, but she's bleeding to death. The guy reckons "screw it" and rushes home to fetch a blanket. He gets back, puts the blanket on the back seat of his M3, and puts the woman on the blanket. He then rushes her to the hospital.
Six months she lies in the hospital, and he is with her every day and very night. He donates blood to keep her alive. Eventually, she recovers fully, and they get married.
Life is cool for a few years, until one day she gets fed up and decides to leave him. His love of money is obvious, and she feels like a trophy wife.
As she comes down the stairs, struggling with her two suitcases, she reaches into her pocket for the keys to the Jaguar. Sure enough, he stops her before she reaches the door, and asks "What are you doing?" "I'm leaving you," she says. "Oh really, and how are you going to leave? The keys in your hand are for the Jaguar I paid for. It's my car. You're not taking it anywhere."
"Fine," she says, and throws the keys at him. "And those bulging suitcases? The clothes you're wearing? Everything, I've paid for. They are my suitcases and my clothes. You're not taking the many where."
"Fine," she says, and throws the suitcases at him. She strips down completely and throws her clothes at him too. "And the blood in your body? I sat with you for six months in the hospital. You know half of the blood is mine. You're not going anywhere."
She whips out her tampon and says "I'll pay you back in monthly installments."
Alamo Race Track - Black Cat John Brown
Black cat John Brown, your time will come
Big yellow eyes, full moon is rising
Black cat John Brown, your time will come
Windows and fences, you’ll take no risk
You catch the world, big open eyes
You catch some berries from trees that reach the sky
You'll get older, you can’t catch time
You’ll have a good life and then you'll die
Black cat John Brown, your time will come
Big yellow eyes, full moon is rising
Black cat John Brown, your time will come
Windows and fences, you’ll take no risk
More info on Alamo Race Track : official webpage
The mistress.
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infinite or Lexus in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies.
Arabs and Star Trek
"The Saudi Ambassador to the U.N. has just finished giving a speech, and walks to the lobby where he meets his American counterpart. They shake hands and as they walk, the Saudi says, "You know, I have just one question about what I have seen in America." The American says, "Well Sir, is there anything I can do to help you understand?"
The Saudi whispers "My son watches this show called "Star Trek" and in it there are Russians, Blacks, Asians, Scots, even Irish, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He does not understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek." The American laughs and leans over. "That's because it takes place in the future."
Blue Planet Channel Ad - The Parrot.
"Jonathan ... fuck me ... fuck me ... cum on my tits ... cum on my tits!!!." :))
Batman - The Dark Knight ( trailer )
Batman raises the stakes in his war on crime. With the help of Lieutenant Jim Gordon and District Attorney Harvey Dent, Batman sets out to dismantle the remaining criminal organizations that plague the city streets. The partnership proves to be effective, but they soon find themselves prey to a reign of chaos unleashed by a rising criminal mastermind known to the terrified citizens of Gotham as The Joker.
The movie is directed by Christopher Nolan who also directed Memento, The Prestige and batman Begins. The role of Batman is played by Christian Bale and the movie is set to be launched on 18 July 208 in U.S.A. .
The trailer:
Amazing Chinese ping pong skills.
These guys are amazing. It was only a demo match but it's sure worth a look.
Strange Sex Laws
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains
Women must address bachelors as master instead of mister, according to an Illinois state law
In Kingsville, Texas, it is against the law for two pigs to have sex on the city's airport property.
It’s illegal to have sex with a corpse anywhere in the United States.
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it’s against the law to have sex with a truck driver in a toll booth.
In Fairbanks, Alaska it’s illegal for moose to have sex on the city sidewalks.
In Florida having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens her mother must be in the room to witness the act. - thats sick ... "come on mami dear, give me a helping hand to shove it in" - pff
Up until 1884, a Victorian-era woman could be sent to prison for denying a husband sex.
During the Middle Ages, if you were guilty of bestiality you’d be burned at the stake, along with the other party to your crime.
The Romans would crush a first time rapist’s gonads between two stones.
The first legalized condoms in the US were made from vulcanized rubber in the 1870s. They were expensive and annoyingly thick and meant to be reused.
It’s illegal to have sex without a condom in Nevada.
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores.
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for on the premises."
Links.
Some links that i've found intresting:
- Chernobyl Legacy - an essay by Paul Fusco - click here
- The American's guide to speaking Brithis - click here
- Mini-Putt ( a flash mini golf browser game) - click here
- Clever advertising - click here
A small problem
A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' she asks.
The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?''
Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, ''I know how to make them larger!''
''How!?!?!?'' she asks.
''Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.''
''Well how long does it take?'' she asks.
''They should expand over the years,'' he answers.
''How did you know that?'' she wonders.
''I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?'''
Effects Of Drugs And Alcohol On Spider Webs
In the 1960s, Dr. Peter Witt gave spiders various kinds of drugs and alcohol to observe the effects on their webs. The results were pretty interesting.Conclusion: The crack spider is a bad mofo.
Effects Of Drugs And Alcohol On Spider Webs - Watch more free videos
Contortionist girl.
It looks like she has no bones in her arms. Freaky and cool at the same time... but not sure how she would handle herself at old age, lets just hope she doesn't begin to fall apart.
What the world eats.
The Dong family of Beijing, China
Food expenditure for one week: 1,233.27 yuan or 155.06$
Favorite foods: fried shredded pork with sweet and sour souce
The Casales family of Cuernavaca,Mexico
Food expenditure for one week: 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or 189.09$
Favorite foods: chicke, pizza, crab, pasta
Food expenditure for one week: 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or 189.09$
Favorite foods: chicke, pizza, crab, pasta
The Revis family of North Carolina, U.S.A.
Food expenditure for one week: 341.98$
Favorite foods: spaghetti, potatoes, sesame chicken
The All Hagan family of Kuwait City, Kuwait
Food expenditure for one week: 63.63 dinars or 221.45$
Favorite foods: Chicken byriani with basmati rice
Food expenditure for one week: 63.63 dinars or 221.45$
Favorite foods: Chicken byriani with basmati rice
The Aboubakar family of Breidjing Camp, Chad
Food expenditure for one week: 685 CFA francs or 1.23$
Favorite foods: soup with fresh sheep meat
Food expenditure for one week: 685 CFA francs or 1.23$
Favorite foods: soup with fresh sheep meat
The manzo family of Sicily, Italy
Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 euros or 260$
Favorite foods: fish, pasta with ragu, hot dogs, frozen fish sticks
Food expenditure for one week: 214.36 euros or 260$
Favorite foods: fish, pasta with ragu, hot dogs, frozen fish sticks
The Ukita family of Kodaira City, Japan
Food expenditure for one week: 37,699 Yen or 317.25$
Source: ©Peter Menzel www.menzelphoto.com; from the book Hungry Planet: What the
World Eats. Ten Speed Press
Food expenditure for one week: 37,699 Yen or 317.25$
Source: ©Peter Menzel www.menzelphoto.com; from the book Hungry Planet: What the
World Eats. Ten Speed Press
food eating habits china usa italy chad kuwait japan mexico study
Beer Troubleshooting Guide
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.
SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.
SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It’s water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.
SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
SYMPTOM: Don’t recognize anyone, don’t recognize the room you’re in.
FAULT: You’ve wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.
SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.
SYMPTOM: Don’t remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.
Words women use.
WORDS WOMEN USE
FINE - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
NOTHING - This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows) - This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing," and will end with the word "Fine."
GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows) - This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care. "You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine," and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH - This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement Often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
SOFT SIGH - Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
THAT'S OKAY - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman Can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead." At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
THANKS - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome. (this term is rarely used)
THANKS A LOT - This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing.
comedy funny women words
The new employee manual.
NEW EMPLOYEE MANUAL
DRESS CODE: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
VACATION DAYS: All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan 1, Jan 26 and Dec 25.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.
OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a co-worker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.
LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week.
Management
DRESS CODE: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary, if we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
VACATION DAYS: All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan 1, Jan 26 and Dec 25.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.
OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.
RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a co-worker. Both employees' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.
LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balance meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations or input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week.
Management
Teeth - the movie with the "criminal vagina" plot
WTF is wrong with movie producers this days ? Have they run out of ideeas that bad that they need to come up with such a movie ? At first, when i saw the trailer i thought it was a joke. Then I searched for it on IMDB an found out that the movie really exists and it actually has a pretty good rating (6 out of 10). This tells a lot about why there are so few good movies these days. Just read the movies description :
"TEETH tells the story of High school student Dawn (Jess Weixler) works hard at suppressing her budding sexuality by being the local chastity group's most active participant. Her task is made even more difficult by her bad boy stepbrother Brad's (John Hensley) increasingly provocative behavior at home. A stranger to her own body, innocent Dawn discovers she has a toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence. As she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness, Dawn experiences both the pitfalls and the power of being a living example of the vagina dentata myth."The trailer:
New tank-like dinosaur found in Andes mountains (Chile).
Scientists searching for fossils high in the Andes mountains in Chile have unearthed the remains of a tank-like mammal related to armadillos that grazed 18 million years ago.
The discovered creature was a primitive relative of a line of havy armored mammals, which culminated with Gyptodo, a mamal about the size of a Volkswagen Beetle, 3 meters high
( 10 feet), covered in armor plates and with a spiky tail used probably for defense.
The creature was named "Parapropalaehoplophorus septentrionalis" (why would someone chose such a name) and you can read more about it here : click for full story.
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