101 ways to get fired

1. Leave a stack of old applications and a note saying, “Install these”
2. Staple your reports in the wrong corner
3. Put tape over the mouse optics
4. Unplug a co-worker’s monitor
5. Talk to sick employees while wearing a dust mask
6. Turn your earphones up all the way
7. Burn popcorn in the microwave
8. “Forget” to put your tuna sandwich in the fridge
9. Turn up the beep volume of the copier
10. Empty the paper out of the main printer/copier
11. Empty the ink or toner out of the main printer/copier
12. Practice beat boxing
13. Sing show tunes
14. Hang up the phone before they say, “good bye”
15. Slurp hot coffee during meetings
16. Walk around the office barefooted
17. Empty out a co-workers office on a Friday afternoon
18. Misplace peoples pens
19. Insert a 3.5” disk before they turn on their computer
20. Glue their mouse to the desk
21. Leave an open can of tuna in their desk
22. Make a screenshot of their desktop and use it as their screensaver
23. Turn up the contrast on their monitor
24. Talk in a funny accent
25. Use goofy event sounds for your programs
26. Chant, “Yeay, I got mail!!” every time you get a new email
27. Print out a phony pink slip and leave It in their mailbox
28. Send flowers from one co-worker to another
29. Start your car remotely when someone walk by it
30. Insist on people to have a great morning
31. Leave hole punches all over
32. Leave your lunch garbage in other people’s cans
33. After each sip give a refreshing, “Ahhh”
34. Put salt on someone’s mouse pad
35. Set a password on someone’s screensaver
36. Carry on a conversation with someone two cubes down
37. Smirk when a co-worker walks by
38. Eat half of someone’s lunch
39. Swap co-worker’s chairs
40. Fake stomach flu during a meeting and need to abruptly leave three or four times
41. Stare deeply into your co-workers eyes when they talk to you
42. Take all the ice out of the community freezer
43. Listen to comedy tracks and laugh hysterically
44. Hit all the floor buttons when you leave the elevator
45. Make hissing sounds into the phone and insist you have a bad connection
46. Flip the left and right mouse button defaults
47. Take out the ball in the mouse
48. Eat sunflower seeds
49. Tell a long story without a point
50. Tell a co-worker you liked their hair better last week
51. Anonymously send flowers to a random co-worker
52. Bring Cheetos for food days
53. Drag your feet when you walk down the halls
54. Exclaim your co-worker didn’t wash his hands when leaving the restroom
55. Eat stinky foods when you have lunch at your desk
56. Practice drumming on your desk
57. Use too many paper clips
58. Fill out your time sheets incorrectly
59. Set your mobile phone to an obnoxious ring tone
60. Forward chain letters and other spam to co-workers
61. Express your political views at length
62. Whisper loudly
63. Come to work sick
64. Drink the last cup of coffee without making a new pot
65. Answer your mobile during meetings
66. Stand over someone while they are on the phone
67. Sneak up behind someone
68. Mess with the thermostat
69. Give everyone a pistol wink when they walk by
70. Gradually turn down the volume on someone’s phone
71. Leave unusual print outs on the printer
72. Throw out other people’s prints
73. Juggle office supplies
74. Write all your memos on bright colored paper
75. Be overly nice to people
76. Hide whiteboard erasers
77. Chew gum while talking on the phone
78. Regularly update everyone on the current weather
79. Read your emails aloud
80. Leave the fridge open
81. Shake up cans of pop in the fridge
82. Leave fingerprints on the copier glass
83. Whistle all day long
84. Wear too much cologne/perfume
85. Type loudly
86. Wear bright colored clothes
87. Give everyone a nickname from a TV show
88. Do the sneaky walk around the office
89. Peer over the cube and wait for a co-worker to look up and notice
90. Use the intercom and page yourself
91. Swap the regular and decaf coffee
92. Hide the sugar and creamer
93. Type emails in uppercase and excessive punctuation
94. Refer to your garbage can as your in-box
95. Stick pencils to the ceiling in other people’s offices
96. Throw a bouncy ball in your office
97. Tell the same story over and over
98. Imitate regular sounds like a disc drive opening, door slamming or a mouse click
99. Talk to your monitor as if it was a person
100. Schedule meetings at 4:00pm
101. Talk loudly with your earphones on when someone comes to talk to you

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